Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Practicing: asking for help, letting it in, letting folks struggle while giving me what I asked for.
Thinking: about slowing down, accepting the flow, and how to effectively process sorrow
Feeling: hopeful, opened up wide, terrified but plunging anyway
Listening to: Bebe, Pafuera Telaran`as
Smelling: garlic on my fingers
Wanting: to deepen my somatics practice and eventually be a practitioner who facilitates healing for others
Realizing: that we are not our struggles or our traumas
Remembering: that I am a glorious, unique, beautiful, intelligent being
Loving: being alive.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
I think I know what it feels like to be seen. I've felt it in instants, in bursts. I've felt it for longer, but just as I've gotten comfortable and I've started to expect it to be around, to be sustainable, it floats away or falls out from beneath me.
I want to stand firm, facing the wind. I want to know that pain happens because it must, because that is its role in everything. I want to know that joy happens because it must, because I need it to, because it is irreplaceable. I want each component of the universe to know that it exists and it does what it does because it is the only thing/emotion/sensation/human/mineral/song/whatever that can fulfill that role. I want to know this about myself: that I am the only me who can be me. I want to feel it coursing through me, making my heart beat faster and my feet move more gracefully.
This is all over the place. But it is perfect. Because here I am, just doing what I am.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Build a home, and open the windows
But don't let the windows turn into doors
Unless you plan on walking out
Build a home, and leave the lights on
While you build another home
And leave the first one to itself, well-lit, yet unknowing
Build a life, and watch it grow
But hide from it when things get loud
Create another, silent life
Build a life, another life
In which everyone shares the same story
And no one else's voice is heard
Build a world, a world in which
You claim everyone's voice and needs matter
Except the ones of people you have left behind.
Build a world, a world in which
Your comrades aren't afraid to ask you
Who you are leaving behind
Build the world you said you wanted
Not the one that is convenient now
Build a world for everyone
Leave no one behind.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Monday, August 15, 2011
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
My personal commitment, that came out of my four day somatics intensive a couple of weeks ago, is to cultivate relationships based on mutual care, consideration, and intimacy. Not long after the intensive, my relationship completely disintegrated in what seemed like the blink of an eye, and without any involvement on my end in the process that led to the actual break-up. I am experiencing a lot of thoughts and emotions around this. Mostly a deep sadness around how little my ex-partner shared with me about what he was going through. This is not to demonize him or to make him into the bad guy, but rather just to say that it broke my heart that he had a process that did not involve me at all. Apparently, that is what he needed. People hurt others in their process of saving themselves all the time.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
I have to get it together . . . I got things to do. Feel free to send a little love my way, though. That might help.