Sunday, August 21, 2011
I think I know what it feels like to be seen. I've felt it in instants, in bursts. I've felt it for longer, but just as I've gotten comfortable and I've started to expect it to be around, to be sustainable, it floats away or falls out from beneath me.
I want to stand firm, facing the wind. I want to know that pain happens because it must, because that is its role in everything. I want to know that joy happens because it must, because I need it to, because it is irreplaceable. I want each component of the universe to know that it exists and it does what it does because it is the only thing/emotion/sensation/human/mineral/song/whatever that can fulfill that role. I want to know this about myself: that I am the only me who can be me. I want to feel it coursing through me, making my heart beat faster and my feet move more gracefully.
This is all over the place. But it is perfect. Because here I am, just doing what I am.