Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 12.

I have been thinking about how very privileged I am to have choices in my life. Even when I feel very stuck and out of luck, I recognize that I have options - less than some other folks, for sure, but more than many other people I can think of.

The thing is, I've been feeling very sorry for myself lately. I want to spend more of my time contributing my energy, creativity, and all-around smarty-pantsness to a love-based movement for progressive change. I often get frustrated that I haven't found the best way to do that right now, neither through paid work nor through any other work. I sling espresso and pour beer and keep my mouth shut when challenging shit comes up - shit I know how to challenge right back, and challenge very well. I keep learning, the hard way, that keeping my mouth shut really does tend to be best in those situations. And then I get cranky and internalize it, and wish I had the option, damn it! to say what I want to say.

But I think I am missing the point. As jacked as it is that we're all living in this system in which some people just plain don't have what they need, I can't work to change that system if I'm not getting what I need. And I am very lucky to have what I need and also have the option to walk out at any moment . . . because the truth is, I could make it work if I had to. I have choices. I have privilege. And mostly, I'm overall doing okay.

No comments:

Post a Comment