Friday, March 11, 2011

Day 36.

The apocalypse is now. The post-apocalyptic world is here. And even though it may sometimes feel like a movie, like when I am watching footage of a tidal wave wash out buildings and cars and farms in Japan, it most definitely is not. It is reality, and it's happening now. It's hard not to dramatize it . . . it's the end of the world as we know it. But I suppose every day is.

In Oakland, where I live, the African American population is dwindling. The article gives us statistics, and some anecdotal and "safe" quotes. Oh, you mean black people are leaving Oakland because they want to live somewhere safer and less expensive? And not because gentrification is driving them out? How post-racial. How nice.

In Wisconsin, people are continuing to stand up to the institutions that aim to oppress them for the profit of a few. Even after being royally screwed by their electeds, they're still going for it. So that's some inspiration in the day.

And me? How am I? I'm feeling sick. Again. I have a cold that has reappeared for the third time in about a month. This doesn't happen to me. I usually get sick about once a year. The (justified) paranoia starts creeping in. I have been so sensitive to chemical odors lately. Is this due to MCS (Multiple Chemical Sensitivity)? How will I ever know? I don't have health insurance. I don't have hopes of having health insurance any time soon. I don't have a doctor. What would they tell me, anyway? Nothing I don't already know. And on and on it goes.

How resilient will we humans prove to be in the long run? What is "the long run," anyway? As everything continues to crumble around us and collapse on us and creak and sputter within us, how much longer will we keep going? How long will humans continue to exist on this planet, getting sick and getting better, falling in love and breaking up, getting jobs and leaving them, getting outraged and going on strike, hustling to pay the bills and organizing for better lives, starting wars and counting piles of money, making music and longing for some inexplicable thing called revolution? How much longer will we be able to live, accumulating toxins in our very physical selves, in our emotional, mental, socialized selves? Will we try to rid ourselves of these toxins, heal our selves and our relationships and our communities and our countries and our planet? Where are we heading? When will we get there?


  1. i don't know. but i wish i could say i have a good and healthy future. what will life be like when we're 50? will we still even be here? i hope the next form of life that inhabits this world is smarter than we are.

    ps: i read your blog pretty regularly and i love your writing and what you say.

  2. thanks for commenting, mc. it's hard to put stuff out and not know if anyone's paying attention. xo