Friday, June 10, 2011

Day 127.

This morning, I went into the bathroom to put my contact lenses in. Just as I set my glasses down on the shelf and picked up the saline solution, I heard the dog barking. I had left the side door that leads into our yard open so he could go in and out at his own leisure, which is usually fine . . . except for the barking, which happens only when he feels that the perimeter of our yard is threatened (ie. someone walks by.) This basically means that all of our neighbors probably think of our self-important Pomeranian as a barky little twit.

I called to him and called to him and he just kept on barking. Thinking something might be wrong, I ran outside to grab him, leaving both my contact lenses and glasses on the bathroom sink. And of course, a neighbor I had never met before was trying to befriend little Poo-Bah, hence the non-stop barking. I stood there kind of awkwardly, as she decided that was the moment to befriend to me, as well. I debated telling her that I was seriously visually impaired at that moment, but felt uncomfortable at the prospect of saying something like, "Hi, it's nice to meet you, and in case I am blinking repeatedly or looking at you funny, I feel I should let you know that I can't see a thing without my contacts, which I don't have on my eyeballs right now." I kept wondering if she thought I was acting strange. Then, she decided to tell me her name.

"I'm Wendy."

"Wendy, it's nice to meet you. I'm Mahfam."

All I noticed then was: Blurry human shape in front of me who, if I really focused, appeared to be trying to comprehend what I just said. It was SO AWESOME. I didn't have to experience the scrunched up face and the dropped jaw and the raised eyebrows or ANY of it. I want to take out my contacts before introducing myself to everyone I meet for the rest of my life.

(And that ends my practice of writing for the sake of writing.)

Tracy Morgan is a douchebag. I don't want to reiterate everything everyone else has said. I just want to remind people that little queer kids are fucking awesome.

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